I’ve read a few articles recently saying that three is the hardest number of children, which having three children myself, I find quite interesting. It’s obviously very subjective and depends on lots of different things, with a bigger age gap you have children with very different interests, but the older ones can look after themselves a little, with small age gaps you might get periods where all three play beautifully, but you’re also doing almost everything for three children.
I know people who say that they barely noticed a difference when the third came along, but I find three quite difficult. The first year before Zak started school was fine, Hannah slotted perfectly into our life, she was a wonderfully placid baby, happy to watch the craziness around her, endlessly patient with her ever so affectionate brother and sister and a fantastic sleeper.
Things were a bit harder when Zak started school, trying to get three children out of the house, into the car, find a parking spot, get the pushchair out, and then walk with a 4, 3 and 1 year old to school on time often felt like a near impossible task. I look back on that year and wonder how on earth I managed, but actually maybe it was easier, we were doing less after school activities, less rushing around, in between school runs life felt quite calm.
These days it’s a bit of a different story, while we get moments, sometimes even hours of harmony between all three children, those times are quite rare and the endless bickering is quite wearing. I know it’s hard for the kids as well, we can’t give them the attention they perhaps need all the time, we dash from school to gymnastics to ballet to swimming trying to jam in homework along the way. Spellings are often learned in the car, we forget stuff ALL the time and perhaps wrongly expect the children to do some of the remembering for themselves. We both work from home which makes it hard to switch off, but on the positive side it means I can help in school and be there for drop off and pick up. It’s a constant juggling act.
The children tend to split off either the girls and Zak or the older two and Hannah depending on what they’re playing, mostly someone is left out and not happy. I obviously wouldn’t change anything and I LOVE our mad, crazy house, but it’s not always easy either.
I’ve been writing a similar post and must admit I find three quite difficult too, mad and crazy are words we use too and often have one being left out. People often suggest having another but don’t have enough eyes or hands as it is xx
I don’t know how you do any of it, let alone all of it Emma, with your two fantastic blogs as well! I was always advised tohave two or four children for exactly this reason and would have loved to have gone for all four. You are a credit to them and a real role model. You know what to do ….. 😉 xx
I really admire your honesty in this post Emma and funnily enough it is something I wanted to pick your brains about when we see you at MW. I always thought we would stick at two, but for the last year I have really felt strongly about having another baby. However there are so many things to consider, and some of my major ‘against’ points are exactly what you have said up there. I am scared that it would ruin our seemingly pretty easy life, as at the moment our girls are the best of friends, life is easy and straightforward, bar the usual parenting stresses.
And while I know without a shadow of a doubt that you wouldn’t change it for the world, and I know I wouldn’t too, however hard it is, I can’t help but feel like perhaps we should stick at two, even though I would love another baby. I guess this comment doesn’t really make sense at all, but it’s been something that’s been on my mind a lot recently. x
I have three children too a 12 year old, two year old and nine month old and i am finding it such a juggling act trying to find time to spend with each child and meet everyone’s needs. Some days are so hard but i think that is more to do with my youngest two being only 14 months apart. I love having three children though even though it is utter madness at times xx
I am one of three, two of us close together and my little sister 7 years younger, so to me 3 seems natural. I will find out soon enough anyway I guess! 😀
I have two – a boy and a girl with just two years between them and until recently, they had an amazing friendship but they’re not as close lately as they have such different interests now. I think adding another one in to the mix would cause havoc – I’m in complete admiration for you coping with three x x
Like you I have three but for me I have a huge gap compared with you being 15, 11 and 5 and it has been easy for me. I do juggle and need to make sure that each get some time on their own. Last weekend I took chloe for an indian so we could have some time together. Dyl often gets his time with Lee. I do think Erin sometimes misses out though as she asks chloe and dyl to play doctors with her and they refuse lol!!
Yes I find 3 hard at times. there is rarely times when all three play nicely, it is more a case of two going off together and getting on. JJ was at camp recently and I just had the girls and I was reminded how much easeir to is than three. Mich x
We are debating number three at the moment but quite hostly I am really not sure I could manage the practicalities of it. Mr B disagrees. I find two exhausting LOL.